Alice was the only one awake. Ben had given her a ride home almost a half hour ago and she'd made yet another lame excuse not to let him in the house.
He was trying to get her guard down with every good guy card in the deck. She really wanted to want him, but something was holding her back. James...
He was always there, at the back of her mind. Like an impossible itch or something, she couldn't shake him. Maybe if she could just let Ben into her bed, she could get on with her life. But that wouldn't be fair to him, either.
The cellphone in her hands was cold and empty of contacts from her life in Denver, but she knew his number by heart. Ben had made a good point at dinner. She couldn't truly be happy until she healed. He had meant that she should forget James and be with him. She knew enough about men to know when one wanted to be "more than friends".
But Ben was sweet, and strong and made good money. He'd never be a MENSA candidate, but he wasn't an idiot either. They had fun together, even though they hadn't fooled around. She smiled at the memory of Ben walking her to the door. He'd held the side of her face like he was holding a baby bird, and then leaned down to kiss her other cheek.
His lips had been so soft, and the kiss was feather light. As he had pulled away, she put both hands on his face and kissed him full on the mouth. It deepened quickly, with hands wandering over each others bodies soon after it began. She racked her fingernails across his broad shoulders as she nipped playfully at his bottom lip. His breathing quickened and he was soon responding with a deft handfull of her ass. They stood there making out in the doorway until they were both breathless.
He wanted in, and she had wanted him to, but James' face filled her mind. The strong jaw with its morning stubble, rough against her pillow on the morning she'd finally gotten up the courage to ask him to be hers.
She'd panicked, and said something stupid about needing sleep and that she would call him later. The hurt that had flashed in his eyes broke her heart, but she hugged him and then shut the door behind her.
Now she sat at the kitchen table, flustered, horny and at a loss for what to do next. James was good at helping her sort things through, but after almost three months of nothing, would he even want to hear from her? She decided that she didn't care. She had to talk to him. She had been meaning to call since Grace's birthday almost three weeks ago now.
She picked up the phone and determinedly dialed with shaking fingers. It was only 10pm in San Francisco, so it was 11pm in Denver. Alice couldn't remember the last time Ben had been asleep before midnight, so she figured it would still be okay to call. At least it would be okay if he still wanted to talk to her. He hadn't called in three weeks, after all.
The phone went to voicemail. Alice Hung up in a rush of adrenaline fueled emotion. When the tea pot started whistling, she almost screamed aloud. She had completely forgotten putting it on.
After mixing herself a mug of hot chocolate, her phone rang. It was James. She put the steaming mug down and sat, staring at the phone vibrating on the table.
She snatched it up on the third ring.
"Hello?" She hated the way her voice was wavering, but couldn't seem to stop shaking.
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